Monday, February 14, 2011
In Sno Ho by Ethan Day, Boone Daniels seems to have trouble finishing things. Along with the half dozen or so novels he's started, only to abandon mid-way through, his love life could be best described as a series of drive-by's.
Boone has spent the past week staying at a ski-lodge in the tiny mountain town of Summit City. He's been using his time alone to write while waiting for his boyfriend to join him for their anniversary.
What happens to Boone when he winds up dumped on the eve of his one-year anniversary and ends up at a bar having one too many cocktails? Wade Walker.
MLR Press (October, 2010)
“Christ that was…” Wade fell to the floor next to me, rolling onto his back while trying to catch his breath.
I was in a similar state, on my back covered in both of our cum. We were both sweating, and I felt a chill as the cool air began to mix with my sweat-soaked body. Goose pimples ran amuck as I leaned up on my elbows and looked over my chest and stomach. “Yeah…it was. I can’t even imagine how much cum you blew the first time. You could’ve drowned me with this shit.”
Wade let out a deep laugh. “Remind me to sexually insult you every day.”
I lay back down, and smacked him in the side as I spied a muffin on the floor just out of reach. I was instantly starving and reached out for it, my middle finger grazing it.
“Please tell me you aren’t seriously going to eat that?” Wade asked. “It’s been on the floor!”
I was just about to curse him and his buckets of sperm which I was trying to keep from running off of me and onto the floor as my finger caught the edge of the muffin top, rolling it close enough for me to snatch it. “Five second rule, dude!” I tossed one of my legs over his and nudged him with it to keep quiet.
Wade stretched his arm out, allowing me to prop my head up on it as I tore off a chunk of the muffin. Wade shook his head at me. “That’s been there longer than five seconds.”
I smiled and laughed a little as I popped it into my mouth. “Five seconds to me, I just noticed it.” I tore off another chunk and held it up to see if he wanted some.
“No thanks,” he pushed my arm away. “I don’t do white flour.”
“Oh Jesus, please tell me you aren’t one of those food Nazis!”
“That shit will kill you.”
I fake cried, letting my body go into full faux racking sobs. “Why God…why?”
“You already hate me, so what’s the difference?”
I let out a gasp. “After all the dirty, dirty things I just let you do to me?” I raised my voice up to sound all girlie. “My daddy warned me about boys like you!” I tore off another chuck of muffin and stared down at my chest. I shrugged and dabbed the muffin in the cum and popped it in my mouth.
“I can’t believe you just did that!”
“Yeah,” I snarled up my lip, “didn’t quite think that one through all the way.”
He laughed and I felt his hand land on the leg that I’d tossed over his. “That’s the best you got?”
“What?” I shrugged. “I was craving sweet and salty and it was right there in front of me. Like everything that had happened today had led up to this moment when I discovered that cum and banana muffin were an irresistible combo.”
“Man, you talk fast.” He squeezed my thigh and laughed, his hand inching a bit toward my crotch. “That mouth of yours should be considered a moving violation.”
“Me?” I asked innocently, swallowing another morsel. I smiled realizing I wasn’t stressed out or angry or feeling all weird and icky about Wade any longer. “That’s ’cause I say twice as much as the average individual.” It was as if the double header of fucking had rid me of my angst. “Gotta get it all out there in the time allotted.” I decided it was the fact I couldn’t remember the sex that had had me all weirded out.
“You’re a little scary,” Wade said, his chest still heaving up and down as he tried to get his wind back.
“Coming from the man who’s afraid of white flour and likes to fake ski?”
“Excuse me?” He said, lifting his head off the floor. “Fake what?”
“Skiing.” I popped in the last bit of muffin. “First of all it’s a stupid sport, and secondly you’re not even doing it the right way.”
Wade rolled onto his side and looked at me like I’d just turned into an alien. “Well, thank God you’re here to set us all straight on this matter. Please, enlighten me.”
“As for the right way, well that would be on water…as God intended.” I felt a slight stiffness in my chest as he looked into my eyes. “And…can you really explain stupidity?” Shit…the ick is coming back!
“Skiing on water is for pussies!” He poked me in the side, causing me to giggle. He seemed to take note that I was indeed ticklish as he arched his eyebrows at me. Then he stood up and walked across the floor to his clothes. “I can’t believe you’d even think that water skiing required even one tenth of the skill that real skiing does.”
“Fine,” I said sitting up on my elbows. “But my way has us half naked, baking in the hot sun and all oiled up—smelling of cocoa buttery goodness.” I watched, slightly confused by the fact I was a little sad to see him pull on his underwear. “With your way, we’re wearing more layers than an onion, and dealing with bitter-ass cold temperatures that cause unwanted shrinkage.”
“I don’t really have to worry about shrinkage.” Wade stood staring at me, holding his pants in one hand as he grabbed his crotch with the other. “I’m not completely sure,” he started as he shoved a long leg into his pants, “but I think you might actually run risk of being stoned to death uttering such blasphemy in this neck of the woods.”
I frowned and shrugged as he zipped up and bent over to grab his shirts. I began to feel odd lying naked on the floor…completely covered in cold semen. “I’m sorry…did I not mention the cocoa buttery goodness?”
“I guess that means you won’t be continuing with your lessons.”
“Eh,” I shrugged. “They are paid for.”
He laughed, then stared at me blankly. I swallowed, again finding it difficult to breathe. I could tell he was trying to work something out in his head, I could practically see the wheels turning, but I had no clue what it could be.
“Have dinner with me?”
“Um,” I felt my face flush as he pulled on his shirts. “How about you get me a towel or something?” I pointed to my chest.
He smiled and looked full of wickedness, much like he’d been before, when I showed up for my first ski lesson. “Have dinner with me, and I’ll get you a towel.”
I laughed with a snort. “Like you’d really leave me like this.”
He shot me a no-bull shit, I-most-certainly-can-and-will look.
“Oh come on! I totally got you a paper towel after I shot all over you earlier!” I really didn’t want to try making it to the shower while attempting to not leave a trail of cum in my wake, and with the amount of it on me, which while already getting a little crispy looking around the edges, I most certainly would.
“Dinner buys you a nice warm fluffy damp towel.”
“You fucking prick!”
“Ah, ah!” Wade shook his finger at me. “Insults not included.”
I was instantly irritated and Wade seemed to thoroughly enjoy witnessing the transformation as that evil smile returned. He finished putting on his boots and stood up, heading for his parka.
“Last chance, Sparky.”
“Fine!” I hated that smirk on his face. The fact that he’d won and he knew it, was going to eat at me all afternoon.
I opened my mouth to tell him off and he held up a hand and called back as he went round the corner into the bath. “If you can’t say anything nice…”
I rolled my eyes, listening to the shower turn on. I lay there, tapping my fingers on the hardwoods making a mental note to never again allow myself to be the cum repository. Wade entered the room again, towel in hand. He smiled down at me, seeming to enjoy towering over me. I wanted to kick him in the nuts and make a grab for the towel.
Wade glanced over me, his eyes getting all squinty as if he could sense what I was thinking. “You’re not a very nice boy.” He laughed down at me as I impatiently held out my hand.
Hi pot, I thought. “There will be no sex included with this dinner.” I looked at him seriously. “I doubt my ass could handle it again, anyway.” Take that, I thought. You might be able to twist my arm into dinner but this little boy’s closing up the barn doors.
He grinned like he didn’t believe a damn thing that I’d just said and dropped the towel onto me. It was warm and damp, and it felt good covering my bare skin.
Wade turned and headed for the door. “I guess you can fuck me, then,” Wade called back as he opened the door.
“You wish, you little shit!”
I felt my jaws clench as he let out a deep rolling laugh, closing the door before I could tell him what I’d really like to shove up his ass. I noticed the steam coming out of the bathroom door from the shower he’d left running for me, as I wiped myself off. I rolled up the towel when I was done and stood up to head for the shower. Stupid ass man-wall!
As I rounded the corner into the bath I wondered, “What the hell am I going to wear?”
Life in Fusion – the sequel to Sno Ho (Warning: possible spoiler alert to Sno Ho!!)
In Ethan Day’s Life in Fusion, aspiring author, Boone Daniels, always figured love would be as easy as he was. Fresh off his whirlwind, winter wonderland romance with ski-god and would-be boyfriend, Wade Walker - Boone was certain that saying goodbye had been the hardest part.
He'd survived the unconventional way in which they came together, proven himself somewhat worthy to Wade's hometown of Summit City, and felt certain the self-imposed, six month boy-buffer would prove one thing - their fate was to be forever entwined.
Once real life settled in, Boone suffered the realization that no one ever actually said love was easy and that even after you fall, you can still break. As their two worlds collided, he began to understand that if he could navigate the landscape of life in fusion, he just might get that happily-ever-after...after all.
Life in Fusion
MLR Press (November, 2010)
As I meandered down the creaking wooden steps I was struck by the fact Wade hadn’t come upstairs to molest me. It was obvious he had an evening planned considering the lit candles burning throughout the living room and kitchen. But still, normally we’d have already had each other naked and in the midst of another sexathon. As I cleared the last few steps, I smiled at my commentary of what was supposedly normal behavior for a three and half week old relationship.
“Cause we’ve been together so long we’ve already settled into a routine?”
He had the TV cabinet open, his huge ass LCD exposed as if we were going to be watching something. The lights were dimmed and Wade had music going in the background, a female singer was belting away, and while she sounded familiar to me I couldn’t quite place her. A small stack of DVDs and one giant remote control were sitting out on the coffee table. The logs popped and crackled in the open fireplace and the soft hum of the fan blowing the heat out into the room, created a constant stream of white noise in the background.
“Who’s the chick singing?” I asked, smiling as he glanced up at me. Wade somehow managed to be adorably sexy. You just wanted to pinch his cheeks when he grinned—both sets of them.
“Rosemary Clooney,” Wade said, tapping his fingers on the countertop, keeping beat with the music. “She was my mom’s favorite.”
I nodded, thinking I should hug him or something despite feeling awkward about doing so.
“All settled in?” Wade asked as he crossed the kitchen and went into the pantry.
“Yes sir, I am indeed.” I strode around the island and waited until he came back out, carrying a box of microwave popcorn. “I guess, though I’m a little surprised you didn’t come upstairs and settle yourself inside me.”
Wade grinned, obviously enjoying the imagery. “Since I was wrongfully accused of flying all the way to Albuquerque for a booty call last week...” Wade fired a he-done-me-wrong look my way. “I figured tonight we could try going without it and have a movie night.”
“Nada,” Wade said, freeing the bag of popcorn from its plastic wrapper before tossing it in the microwave.
“Not even after the movie?”
Wade shrugged as if he hadn’t thought that far in advance.
“It’s happened already.” I walked in a circle and tossed my arms up into the air.
I sighed, leaning against the counter as if it were the only thing holding me up. “Our heat has evaporated—the desire is already gone. You can’t even pretend to want me.”
The corner of Wade’s mouth began to curl up. “You’re the one who insisted on a six-month trial period to see if there was anything of substance under the sex.”
The corn began popping as the microwave hummed.
I scowled at him, but decided not to give him the satisfaction of addressing the issue he was now attempting to wield like a weapon from his smart-ass arsenal.
I reached back with both hands, turning as I groped my own ass. “My butt has lost its youthful bounce—the once perky mounds, now so sad.” I squeezed as Wade watched, eyes plastered to my ass. “I’ve caught a case of the saggy butt.”
“Your ass looks fine,” Wade said as the microwave dinged.
I took a few steps, stumbling as if I might faint. “Just fine!”
“Wow, you are so needy with the compliments.” Wade shook his head as he pulled out the bag of popcorn. “It’s a smokin’ hot, damn near irresistible ass that I wanna sink my cock into every time I lay eyes on it. Happy now?”
I grinned, faux preening as I said in my girlie voice, “Oh Wade, I do declare—what a silvery, sweet tongue you have.”
“Wouldn’t mind sinking that into your ass either,” Wade added, tossing in a second bag of popcorn and punching in the time after closing the door.
“Now I feel loved.” I sighed, laughing as he reached over, poking me in the side.
Wade snatched the already popped bag off the counter and opened it, dumping the contents into a large bowl.
“What’s with the teeny, tiny bags of corn, dude?” I asked.
Wade glanced at the empty bag and shrugged before wadding it up into a ball. “So much for size not mattering.”
“Said the abominable snowman,” I added.
Wade pulled up his shirt, looking down at his mouthwatering six-pack. “That some sort of crack about my abs?”
“Seriously dude.” I reached over, patting his tummy. “You’re huge, like a hairless Yeti.”
“Why are cursing at me in Yiddish?” Wade opened the microwave removing the second bag, which he dropped onto the counter after burning his fingers.
“Your hand is bigger than that bag.”
“It’s the snack size.”
“For who— the lollipop guild?”
“I’m usually just popping for one.”
“And now there are two to pop for.” I stared off into space looking all dreamy-eyed. “I’m your bigger-bag-boy?”
“A very tiresome bigger bag boy.” Wade dumped the second bag into the bowl and frowned.
“I hope I’m not just an excuse…you…you’re not using me merely to justify the bigger bag right?” I gasped, placing my hand over my heart. “Oh my god, I’m your bag-hag, aren’t I?”
Wade smiled at me. “Is that enough or should I pop another one?”
“I couldn’t possibly eat. I’m still reeling from the shock.”
He picked up the box of popcorn and smacked me in the shoulder with it. He then nodded pointing to the box. “See how much trouble you are. It clearly states the individual size bag pops in half the time of the three and half ounce bag.”
“Well duh—it’s a smaller bag.” I snatched the box out of his hand. “They actually listed that as a selling feature?”
“You’ve cost me an extra ninety seconds.”
“Not even hitched yet and already sucking the life out of you.” I shook my head as I read the box. “There’s actually a marketing department out there who thought it necessary to point out a smaller bag will pop in less time?”
“Looks that way.” Wade snatched the box back. “I should pop one more, right?”
“That is so sad,” I said, completely ignoring him. “And who are these lazy people whose lives are so inconvenienced that they can’t waste an extra minute waiting for a bag of popcorn?”
Wade removed another pouch from its clear plastic film and tossed it into the microwave. “What I must have done in a past life to deserve you?”
I marveled at the way he could artfully word things so they could go either way, being compliment or insult. I opened my mouth to speak and Wade shoved several pieces of buttery goodness into my mouth in an obvious hope it would silence me as I continued to rant.
I snatched the box away from him, holding it up as if I was Susie Homemaker, giving my testimonial. “Now I can solve world peace thanks to all the time I’ll save no longer waiting for my popcorn.”
“You’re deranged, you know that?”
“Well yeah…but in that hot and sexy Mickey Rourke before-the-drugs-and-alcohol kinda way, right?”
“Will you go wait on the couch please?” Wade asked, leaning over and giving me a peck on the cheek.
I pooched out my lip, trying to look wounded as I said in my best backwoods southern accent. “But it…it’s Shake-n-Bake, and I helped.”
“Go.” Wade pointed toward the sofa.
“You’re mean.” I headed into the living room.
“Grab us a couple of beers on your way in there,” Wade said as the bell sounded that the last bag had finished popping.
“Don’t think you can get me drunk and take advantage of me.” I smiled, hoping that was his plan, not that he needed the alcohol to do it. I sauntered over to the fridge to do his bidding.
“Like I need liquor to do that.” Wade snickered under his breath.
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